It happened again! I can’t believe it. I was pretty sure while reading this, that I was the author, but apparently I am not! Crazy!
There are now two Fan Fics for Annals of Gentalia!
***Warning*** This has a spoiler from Book 2 – Fighters of the Code (early in the book)
I fancied this one up! (And will do the same to the other one, I promise!) You can get the fancy one by downloading this: the-classic-sixty-nine-collection
Or just read it as text here, which isn’t as fancy!
The Classic Sixty-Nine Collection: Anders’ and Fournimer’s Tale (Fanfics of Gentalia 2)
By BC Fletcher
Dedicated to the perfecter of sexy video games
(Seriously, no one will ever look at a pixelated butthole in the same way again)
The Dating Game?
Pop! The Classic Sixty-Nine Collection loading screen exploded in a shower of pearls.
TorTech’s latest release celebrated the 30 year anniversary of thirteen true cult classics and fifty six filler games. This wasn’t the first bundle of retro games they had released, but it was the first to feature online multiplayer for such classics as Schlong and Packing Man.
It was also fully integrated with TorTech’s latest innovation: The Mall. It was a virtual shopping emporium for in game purchases that could be carried between select titles. As yet, The Classic Sixty-Nine Collection was the only release that worked with The Mall but as it was a collection of so many games most players felt that was enough to be getting along with.
Anders was not like most players. Wiping away the shower of loading screen pearls than clung to him, he noticed that the ones which had landed on his Standard Mallrat Outfit had burst.
Anders’ Text Box: Oh croissants! Ugh!
Starter clothing options were limited in The Mall, no doubt to fuel the spending. Anders had selected a hideous chartreuse t-shirt and an even uglier pair of lime green cargo pants but they were both ruined now. He couldn’t meet Fourni like this.
A trip to a virtual mall followed by some retro gaming was Fourni’s suggestion, and though he hadn’t said it was a date, Anders wanted to look his best for it. Checking his inventory, he found $15 free Game Bucks but no spare clothes. He would have to buy something.
Checking his watch, he saw that he had ten minutes to spare before he and Fourni were supposed to meet up. He brought up the Mall map and had a look at the available shops.
Despite being the biggest virtual Mall on the internet, most of the plots were taken up by the sixty-nine classic games, all of which could only be accessed by walking for several minutes through the mall past attractive displays of tempting In Game Purchases. On sale at the various retail outlets was sports gear, army surplus, and a costume shop but no men’s fashion.
The army surplus store would have to do. Anders had been a FPS gamer for much of his life and he always felt comfortable in camo.
He set off for the closest outlet, passing various shops along the way that sold food, potions and weapons. Some delightfully Sticky Wet Buns caught his eye in the bakery window, and he was tempted by a smart new Elven Warrior Cupid’s Bow he saw in the armament store, but it would hardly pair well with the Fatigues he intended to buy.
Eventually he reached the army surplus store without splurging on any pretty but currently useless gear in the other shops. The window was full of uniforms from various nations, both alien and real world, and suitable for a variety of terrains. Something plain and simple would be best given his limited budget, but when he checked the price tags there was nothing under $100 Game Bucks.
Anders’ Text Box: How much?!
Accessing a virtual ATM that conveniently stood outside of the store, he found he could purchase $100 Game Bucks for C$15, $1000 for C$50 and $100,000 for C$165.
Anders’ Text Box: HOW CRACKERING MUCH?!
Anders attempted the Middle Finger Animation at the ATM, but only managed a Sprinkling Flour and Rolling Pastry Aggressively Animation instead.
He wasn’t spending that on principle. But he didn’t want to meet Fourni in soggy and unfashionable clothes so he headed for the sports shop to see what was available there. He had only minutes to go now before he was due to meet Fourni so he dashed inside and dived on the sale rack, where he found the only item under $10 in the entire store—a pair of swim briefs that were two sizes too small. There were, at least, green, and a nice foresty shade at that, though could have used a bit more lycra and a bit less mesh, particularly around the butt area. But they did look cute, and given that they covered his most important parts, only made him turn a faint Blush Shade #3. He paid, and then changed into them in the fitting room before heading out to meet Fourni and hopefully convince him that retro swimming games were the next big thing.
They were supposed to meet at The Mall entrance, but before he could reach it he spied Fourni trotting out of the costume shop. Human was the only option in the character creator screen, but apparently they sold centaur outfits and Fourni had bought himself one at a cost of Maker knows how many Game Bucks. He’d even managed to find himself a beautiful blue scarf, which was amazing considering there wasn’t a single scarf shop in the entire The Mall.
Fournimer’s Text Box: hi Dude! hey, you’re wearing your Gentalia outfit too! that’s perfect because I bought you these.
Fourni reached into a shopping bag and pulled out a pair of Medium Elf Ears. Anders turned a sweet Blush Shade #4 and equipped them. He offered Fourni a grateful hug and shivered when he felt Fourni give his new ears a gentle stroke.
Fournimer’s Text Box: so what game are we going to play?
Anders’ Text Box: I’d like to play a swimming game.
Fournimer looked down at his horsey legs and gave his tail a little shake.
Fournimer’s Text Box: sorry Dude, I don’t think I’m ready to try swimming with these things. how about track and field?
Anders’ looked down at his tiny swim briefs and gave his elf butt a little shake.
Anders’ Text Box: I’d like to but think I might chafe.
They brought up the map and went through the list of possible games. Of the thirteen true classics, four were sports games, three were ruled out because Fournimer couldn’t fit into a car or on a bicycle, and two were fantasy RPGs—a much loved genre, but one they were both taking a break from. That left four classic titles: two text adventures, a dating game, and a point and click.
Fournimer’s Text Box: not the dating game, Dude. if this is anything like Annals of Gentalia we’ll be fighting off a horde of anime school girls.
Anders’ Text Box: The text adventures haven’t been adapted to two players so that leaves… Pleasure Chute Gary? I’ve never heard of it.
Fournimer turned to Blush Shade #5.
Fournimer’s Text Box: that’s, err, kind of an adult game.
Anders’ Text Box: More adult than anything we’ve done in Gentalia?
Fournimer’s Text Box: well, no. not that adult. you spend the whole game trying to get Gary laid, which is harder than it seems. but I guess you’re pretty good at getting laid. really good. kind of the best ever.
Both of them turned to Blush Shade #6.
Anders’ Text Box: Thanks Fourni. You’re pretty good at it yourself.
Fournimer turned to Blush Shade #7.
Fournimer’s Text Box: so shall we… err…
Anders’ Text Box: I’d like to but we should probably move forward with the plot as this is a pretty short fanfic.
Fournimer’s Text Box: i was going to suggest we go play Pleasure Chute Gary.
Anders’ Text Box: Yes. Of course. Let’s do that!
Adorably embarrassed, and with a pair of ill-concealed erections, they headed off to the game.
Pleasure Chute Gary in the Land of the Lounge Jizzards
Anders’ Text Box: Jizzards?
Fournimer’s Text Box: i think it’s supposed to be pronounced Jizz Hards. it can’t be easy finding a sex pun that rhymes with Lizard.
They were stood outside Righty’s Bar in the resort city of Las Vegas. It was already night time in the game world and the bar’s neon sign flickered atmospherically in the dark.
Anders’ Text Box: So what do we do?
Fournimer’s Text Box: we need to go in the bar and get a drink. there’s an escort in there but we don’t need to talk to him yet.
Anders’ Text Box: An escort, huh? You’ve played this before?
Fournimer looked incredibly sheepish for a man who was half horse.
Fournimer’s Text Box: maybe a couple of times, when I was fifteen or some other stupid young age when I thought sex jokes were funny. i’m way too mature for that shit now obviously.
Somehow Fournimer’s sheepishness managed to equal in level a whole field of the woolly critters. But Anders wasn’t worried about Fourni’s sense of humour.
Anders’ Text Box: This game is thirty years old. Were you fifteen in 1987?!
Fournimer’s Text Box: no I wasn’t even born until 1988! i played it on an emulator a few times, that’s all.
Anders’ Text Box: But you knew all the answers to those random age verification questions we had to answer to get into the game.
Fournimer’s Text Box: so does Trikipedia and that was launched in 2001.
It was a fair point well made. Anders couldn’t think of anything funny to say about it so he opted for straight up teasing instead.
Anders’ Text Box: I can’t believe you were born in the eighties. Old man.
Fournimer’s Text Box: seriously? Dude, you better be legal.
Anders’ Text Box: I’m a 1992 baby. Year of the Space Monkey.
Fournimer’s Text Box: thank the Maker!
This seemed like enough teasing for now and as the game had so far proved quite boring, Anders decided to liven things up another way. He’d really like to find out where he stood with Fourni outside the world of Gentalia. Sure there had been kissy hearts, and quite a lot of frankly mind blowing sex, but this was a fanfic and he was ready to get soppy.
And he was going to do so. Right after the sex part.
Anders’ Text Box: You know, Fourni, I’ve always had a thing for slightly older, but not significantly older enough to be creepy, dudes. Also giraffehorse peen.
Fournimer’s Text Box: … thanks?
Fournimer’s Text Box: you do know I don’t have a horse peen in real life, don’t you? i mean it’s big. it’s super big. for a human. it’s not small. but it’s not a computer generated giraffehorse peen.
Anders sneaked a peek between Fournimer’s legs and thanked the Maker for Charles Babbage and Ada Lovelace.
Anders’ Text Box: I don’t care what you’re packing in real life, Fourni. I liked you as a human in Breaker’s of the Code and I like you as a centaur in Fighter’s of the Code. Now, I think it’s time this fanfic got fanficcy.
Fournimer’s Text Box: Dude, we really do need to get on with this game. it’s got a seven hour time limit on it. if Gary hasn’t lost his virginity by then his balls spontaneously combust and we have to start over.
Anders’ Text Box: Seven hours is yonks of time. Come down this back alley with me. I will be quick. Promise.
Anders’ performed a Double Eyebrow Raise Animation followed by a Wink Animation and disappeared into the alley.
Fournimer’s Text Box: no Dude! don’t go down there! you’re going to get beaten! or killed! or molested! oh. oh! here we go again.
Anders’ entered the back alley. It was a fairly standard back alley, apart from the slightly gladeish aspect to it. If Anders’ had been in Gentalia right now he would have been getting suspicious and, quite possibly, aroused.
There was a large Thug hiding behind a bin. He looked ready to pounce, but when he saw Anders’ he stepped out of the shadows, scratching his head.
The Thug was a big boy. He had a cartoonish appearance, and was at least 50% bigger than Anders’ sprite. Anders was drawn to his bald head, big meaty fingers, and his hungry gaze, which was currently roaming all over Anders’ body.
Anders’ Text Box: Here we go again.
Thug’s Text Box: Who are you? Where’s Gary?
Anders’ Text Box: Gary?
Thug’s Text Box: The game’s protagonist.
Anders’ Text Box: I don’t know. Maybe he’s not in this story.
Thug’s Text Box: But the game’s named after him. You can’t play Pleasure Chute Gary without Gary.
Anders’ Text Box: Apparently you can. It must be fanfic rules or something, I don’t know. Anyway, Fourni’s in a hurry so we should probably get this over with.
Anders pulled down his green swim briefs, which had been straining against his erection since the first chapter and were grateful for the reprieve. He tossed them aside and then used a Seductive Smile Animation on the thug.
Anders’ Text Box: On the floor, up against the wall, or do you just want to clench me in your big hands and slam me up and down on top of your lap?
The Thug used a Surprised and Touched Animation.
Thug’s Text Box: Really? Me and you? I don’t ever get any action. It’s the great sadness of my life that I have to live alone in this alley in a small part of the game and have no one to love. Gary always gets to lose his virginity at the end and I’ve never had the chance to lose mine. This is my first time. I bet you’re worried I won’t be any good now.
Anders found himself quite moved by the Thug’s words. He was clearly a tender hearted soul crying out for affection and Anders decided to give it to him.
Anders’ Text Box: It’s ok. I should tell you, I don’t normally do things like this. Totally not my scene. But I like you so I’m making an exception.
Thug’s Text Box: Awe thanks. Let me tell you, you’re in for a treat. The developers gave me a twelve length unit dick.
Anders’ used a Blink Animation, followed by a Disappointed Sigh Well Concealed by a Warm Smile Animation.
Anders’ Text Box: Twelve. Wow. I hope I can manage all that.
A tinny clip clop signalled Fournimer had entered the alley. He used an Eye Roll Animation when he saw Anders was naked, and trotted over to give him a possessive tickle on the pointy tips of his ears.
Fournimer’s Text Box: Dude! you’re ok!
Anders’ Text Box: Fourni! Come and meet Thug. Thug is a NPC who lives in this skeevy back alley. Fourni is my… I mean we are…
Fournimer changed to Blush Shade #8.
Fournimer’s Text Box: yeah, I think we are, Dude.
He gave Anders a kiss and an assortment of rainbow coloured hearts appeared in the air around them.
Thug’s Text Box: I hate to break up this tender moment, but are we going to have a threesome? Because the guys in the bar will never believe me when I tell them I lost my virginity in a three way with an elf and a centaur. Not that I’m going to brag about it. But maybe you could head into the bar afterward so that they see you and know I’m not making it up.
Anders and Fournimer did dual Nodding Animations and the Thug pulled down his pants to reveal his fully erect twelve length unit cock.
Fournimer’s Text Box: finally a normal human dick! so, how much bigger does that thing get?
Thug’s Text Box: Bigger?
Anders’ Text Box: Shh Fourni! … Also can you just clarify that you think twelve inches is a normal size for human?
Fournimer’s Text Box: it is, isn’t it? i mean, twelve inches isn’t tiny. my dick isn’t small. is it?
Anders’ Text Box: I think I’m in love with you.
Thug’s Text Box: Excuse me. My cock is huge. I am hung bigger than any other NPC in this game. In fact I challenge you to name me a single game where the characters have bigger cocks than mine.
Thug’s Text Box: Wut?
The Thug looked crushed. His big bottom lip was trembling and Anders felt awful for him.
Anders’ Text Box: Don’t worry. I think it’s cute.
Thug’s Text Box: You do?
Anders’ Text Box: Sure. How about you just ease it in there. That’s it. That’s good.
And at that moment the screen faded to black.
Roodg’s Comment Box: nO! nO FADE TO BLACK! tHIS IS TERRIBLE! tHIS IS THE WORST FANFIC EVER!
Roodg’s Comment Box: Anders SUCKED Fournimer’s HORSEY GIRAFFE DICK WHILST HE RODE THE Thug’s COCK WHICH GREW FROM TWELVE LENGTH UNITS TO 60 LENGTH UNITS BECAUSE OF Anders’ MAGICAL ELF BOOTY. tHEN Fournimer BANGED THE Thug IN HIS #2 tHUG PUSSY AND WHEN THEY ALL CAME IT WAS MAGICAL AND THEY WERE SEEING STARS AND SHIT. tHEN THE Thug LEFT AND Fournimer COOKED DINNER AND AFTERWARDS HE AND Anders SNUGGLED ON THE COUCH AND HAD SOME GLASSES OF WINE AND THEN Fournimer GAVE Anders A FOOT MASSAGE.
Roodg’s Comment Box: tHERE. fIXED IT FOR YOU. tHE END.